I was reading an article on young royals of India, not much of a surprise in their profiles - they are rich, well educated, and eligible. Then my mind almost took a summersault when the slideshow mentioned Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil, crown prince of Rajpipla, Gujarat. The 47 year old prince is gay and that too openly. He came out publicly with his sexual orientation that included appearing as a guest in Oprah and starring in an UK reality TV show on dating!
Even for a commoner in this part of the world, being ‘normal’ when it comes to sexual orientation and procreation are considered to be sacrosanct. The first is even legally prescribed and I am sure, given an opportunity, people would not hesitate to declare ‘childless by choice’ illegal as well. As a report in LA Times rightly articulates: ‘Those who feel different learn to keep it to themselves and to feel guilt-stricken about it.’
Imagine what the pressure on a royal would be to be ‘normal’, to marry and have children in order to continue the family name and then think of the courage it took for him to defy all that, risk his royal inheritance and to openly be the person he is.
Relenting to the cultural pressure to marry, he married in 1991 but the relationship ended in a divorce the following year. He went onto start a community-based organisation dedicated to support gay men and to education about and prevention of HIV/Aids. Then in 2002, after a nervous breakdown, his psychiatrist informed his parents about his sexuality. Disbelief and denial followed as well as attempts to ‘cure’ him by both medical and religious means. Eventually, the prince's parents demanded he keep his sexuality secret and asked him to remarry. ‘As long as no one knows and things appear normal’ – a royal family is no different in that sentiment from an ordinary one.
But he was no ordinary person. In 2006, he talked publicly about his sexual orientation. He says: ‘It was difficult to be gay in my family. The villagers worship us and we are role models for them. I knew that they would never accept me for who I truly am, but I also knew that I could no longer live a lie. I wanted to come out because I had gotten involved with activism and I felt it was no longer right to live in the closet. I came out as gay to a Gujarati daily because I wanted people to openly discuss homosexuality since it’s a hidden affair with a lot of stigma attached.’
In his home state, effigies of the prince were burned, demands were made that he be stripped of his title for bringing shame on his name and he was disinherited by his parents. His parents publicly disowned their only son, printing notices in the press that he was cut off as heir because of his involvement in 'activities unacceptable to society.' Gohil's mother has threatened contempt proceedings against anyone who refers to him as her son.
The disowning, however, is likely to remain a symbolic act rather than legally enforceable, given India's modern inheritance laws. His mother Rukmini Devi has still not come to terms with her son's sexual preference. Father Raghubir Singh has reconciled after seeing his son's work in the field of HIV-AIDS awareness. His organisation Lakshya has reached 17,000 gays in Gujarat and won a 2006 UNAIDS award.In 2008, the prince announced plans to adopt saying: ‘I have carried out all my responsibilities as the prince so far and will continue as long as I can. I will also adopt a child soon so that all traditions continue.’ If the adoption proceeds, it will be the first known case of a single gay man adopting a child in India.
I find such poise and maturity when he speaks in an interview: ‘I don't blame them at all. I'd probably do the same in their situation. I blame their ignorance. I don't want to run away from the society that has burned my effigy and I will educate them as to what is the truth and what is not the truth. Unless they get that understanding, they won't change.’
I am not writing about gay rights; don’t know much about the issue, I am just humbled by Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil’s courage to stand up for whoever he is. This is someone who really took 'the road less travelled by’ as Robert Frost would have said. As a royalty, he is used to people bowing to him, and I find it very hard not to respect his courage.
